threedimensional teleporter-malfunction
by ↑KerLeone—translated by zeph
The suitcase did not pass through the teleporter. I am speaking of ↑Half-Life 2. I just wanted to take along the suitcase from the railway station. But then I am standing in the room with the teleporter and take the suitcase with me, into the teleporter. Now—first things first—the teleporter malfunctions ingame insofar as it teleports me to oh so strange places (because a headcrab had tampered with the electronics). That’s the first dimension. Inside the game I only reach a place right in front of the window to the teleporter-room. It malfunctions on another level as it does not teleport the suitcase—the second dimension. The game-developer did not foresee someone carrying a suitcase while standing in the teleporter. That’s not a technical problem. Because there is a small model of a teleporter in the anteroom onto which objects can be put, which promptly get teleported some meters of distance. Ingame the small teleporter indeed functions according to logical standards. The game-engine reads out what is lying on the teleporter, and moves it somewhere else. But the big teleporter was not granted that kind of physics. The engine just alters the location of the ‘camera’ (the non-existant player). As the player does not exist as an object inside the game, but as a camera with collision parameters.
So I used a cheat to reconnoitre the laboratory’s vicinity. My hope was to find a spot from where I could e.g. drop the suitcase from the roof, in order to recollect it later on. With clipping deactivated the collision-readout of the camera is no more on duty. Now one can walk through walls and have a healthy look at the map from ‘outside’. But I detected some smoke’n’mirror work going on here—as it is the case with most single-player maps. The laboratory’s interior is located at a completely different location than its exterior, where one is teleported to. Analytically speaking the teleporter functions even better than meant by the ingame storyline. But now the suitcase lies far, far away at a completely inaccessible venue.
By mistake I did not reactivate the clipping and entered the teleporter. Like an elevator it commuted upwards but didn’t take me along. I stood in the laboratory, outside of the teleporter. Quite an ordeal, not just for the ingame-teleporter as it turned out. The teleporter’s error—trying to teleport a person, a camera respectively, which is no more in the correct position—lead to the whole frangible gameworld’s collapsing. In other words: Half-Life 2 crashed.
Literally a couple of minutes ago finnish speedrunner and variety streamer DraQu tried the same challenge on Twitch … but with a TV picked up a bit later instead of the suitcase from the station :D